end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I fill condoms, not promises.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
