I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
