her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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