somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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