i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
