Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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