Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
