There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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