can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
