I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
