butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Do vagina's smell?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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