remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
