is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
My life is pants optional.
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