Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
