wanna go halves on a baby?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
im on a boat
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