He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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