You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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