I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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