At least make sure they are 18
Why
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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