you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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