Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
