You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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