Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
