dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
