Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
