This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
