How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
