I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
