I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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