Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
