Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
My bed smells like the plague
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
