at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
