well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
