I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
