She went from zero to smokin in five shots
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
