I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
