Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
