needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
