You smell like stripper and shame
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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