Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
