That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
