Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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