I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
