I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Success! We fucked roommates!
please don't ironically join a cult
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