i don't like sucking hair
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
