I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
