barbara walters just said penis...
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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