JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
