I understand why you refuse to be sober now
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
