In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
